You know what I love most about Germany? They are magicians when it comes to hair care. Will you please look at this before and after photo? Tell me the Germans aren't outstanding. I stood in front of this sign for 20 minutes in disbelief. I'm pretty much ready to invest everything I own in Haarstudio Hofkes... whatever that is.
We arrived in Munich at 9 am... not the best nights sleep i've ever had but it's all in the name of Germany right? First stop: Free walking tour. Duh. You had me at free. We toured around Munich absolutely free just a walkin'. We were informed on all sorts of history. Turns out Munich has had a rough past. Shrapnel has attacked 95% of their buildings. Luckily this enormous cuckoo clock survived the attacks.
Have you ever seen a happier group touring by foot? I didn't think so. Want to hear something enchanting about Munich? Apparently they don't call their city Munich. They call it Munchen. You can only imagine how much joy that brought me. Running around a city called Munchen.. please!
This is our tour guide, Luke. He wears funny hats and talks with a lot of spit in his mouth. It was kind of gross. After catching up on 900 years of German history, he took us to some bar promising stew. Don't let the resplendent photographs of Munchen fool you. It was frigid out there. The only thing that got me through the last hour of this tour was the promise of warm stew.
My eyes watered as I entered the glorious stew bar. The pot was actually emitting light; I swear. As my bowl was being filled with vegetabley deliciousness, the owner casually mentioned something about there being a record of 7 bowls being eaten in one sitting. Hold up.... what was that you said? A record? What's involved in this record? Is there a trophy? Do I get my picture on the wall? He shook his head disappointedly, "We let you sign the wall, but the wall is currently under construction". My heart sank. 7 bowls of stew is child's play. I could do that with my eyes closed.... not that closing your eyes really affects stew eating but go with me on this one. I spent the next ten minutes trying to convince him to put my name on a different wall... or what about a nice framed certificate? Name the stew after me? Apparently my persuassive ways don't work in Germany. Tough luck.
The only way to lift my spirits after this disappointment was to visit the olympic park. That's right my friends; I sat in the same natatorium where Mark Spitz set the world record by winning seven gold medals. Mmmm the sweet smell of chlorination and victory.
Next door we found the Olympic hall where we snuck into a dog show being performed on the same floor that Soviet's Olga Korbut won the gold medal for the team competition. You can imagine my excitement. We were also going to safety-pin on some numbers and run the mile relay on the track outside, but for some reason they close that baby down at like 4 o'clock. They were probably just nervous about me stealing the glory from the olympians that had run there previously. Yes... that must it.
After allowing the '72 track olympians to keep their glory and spotlight, we visited the BMW museum. We looked around at all the fancy cars and put on goofy BMW headphones. I'm pretty sure this video was full of not-subliminal messages convincing us purchase a BMW. I bought three.
Then we headed upstairs to discover the motorcycles or "hidden gems" as they are sometimes refered. Look this one even had a nice little igloo cooler conveniently located on the side.
What's more German than Haagen Daz? The name Kaiser... but directly after Kaiser is Haagen Dazs. We grabbed us some HD and ate it right on up. I avoided the Haagen in all other countries saving it up for Germany. Let me tell you... it was well worth the wait. I love me some Haagen Dazs, in a cone of course... there is no other way to eat ice cream.
Also located in Munchen is the famous Hofbrau Beer Hall. It was insanely large with loud German music being played by people in funny outfits. What could be better? I kept requesting they play the theme from Hogan's Heroes... they looked at me like I was crazy.
A historic night for me. I had my first taste of beer here. Not as gross as I thought it would be.. but it's no orange gatorade... gah I miss that stuff. We grabbed these glasses for the picture cause we all shared one. I promise Megs didn't down that whole pitcher.
The next morning was life changing. We woke up and began our journey to take pictures at the Munich soccer stadium. All of the sudden I had the overwhelming desire to look at Where's Waldo books, eat peppermints, and shop at Target. Why you ask? Because the entire population of Munchen was decked out in red & white attire for the Bayern Munchen soccer game. It was fate. We couldn't come all the way to Munchen and not watch a soccer game... or could we? because at this point I still didn't even know how to pronounce the name of the team. No... forget that. As of Saturday I loooove soccer! We bought some tickets and headed straight for the fan mega store. They don't use the term 'mega' lightly. It was roughly the size of the Waco mall. I bought everything Bayern Munchen I could get my hands on. No one ever told me if you get into soccer you can get a new outfit! I am sooo into this. I still didn't know how to pronounce the name... but I started trying to eavesdrop in the mega store to see how other people were saying it.
Our tickets were purchased in 2s so we were all spread out across the stadium. I think section 301 definitely brought the house down though. We were screaming our heads off in "German". I asked the guy beside me how to pronounce our team name... and for some rough translations of the cheers. They have this one really complicated one where one side yells 'let's go' to which the other side responds 'let's go'. that went back in forth in German for a long time. sooo clever
My Bayern Munchens dominated Hannover 5-1. It's not like I'm surprised. With the money that I have now invested in them... they better be good! I haven't taken off my jersey since the game. I think I might be wearing it every day for the rest of my life. The team needs my support if we are going to knock Berlin off of No. 1. Did I say if? I meant when. Munchen!!! Munch munch munch munch!!! (that's a cheer we made up all by ourselves... it caught on like wildfire though) We took a picture with the Munchen bear to celebrate. Sic 'em Munchen!
On our way out of town we stopped by the concentration camp in Dachau. It was chilling. I guess that's the best way to describe it. It made all the movies I've seen on the topic become real.
And that ladies and gentlemen is Munich/Munchen in a weekend.
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